"Recently I have been doing some deep diving" - written yesterday

Recently I have been doing 

some deep diving 

into that swirl of garbage

and shards of action 

left behind by the actor 

that I have hired—

hired? 

or the actor that has squatted 

on his own imaginary self-interior 

stage and driven this—

my apparatus of flesh

and bone—as it drags itself 

through creation and through 

all its very own owned 

actions and reactions

of a timed chunk of consciousness—

nevertheless he—

he?

is just an actor 

the protagonist 

sometimes the deuteragonist

or the tritagonist

if

like Sophocles

you know

agonists

like agony

or as defined 

in our most immediate reality 

in time and space

which contains not enough 

vast space 

for tragedy

so all you get is just agony

or as defined in these precious times 

as extreme physical

and mental suffering 

but I would just add psychic 

suffering

or to bring it 

to blunt modern English—

soul-pain

to the point of being unbearable 

in these sentient fleshy and nervy bodies 

we carry around driven

by those three actors 

that someone not quite of Sophocles’

depth and diving experience

is guiding— 

you got three actors 

squatting on adjacent stages

and I pity you

for yours is the stuff of tragedy

but then I envy you also

for tragedy comes with redemptive 

glory 

but only after immense 

and unbearable

suffering—

so happy travails